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What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
If you leave me a comment, I will love you forever. :)

Monday, August 3, 2015

Do I really NEED a niche?

Perhaps you, Dear Reader, have noticed that my content across the social media realm is rather eclectic. 

I'm all over the online map. I run 3 editorial-type blogs, 1 fiction blog, 2 facebook pages (1 for this blog, 1 to assist in sales of my products), 2 Instagram accounts (1 personal, 1 makeup), Pinterest, Twitter (1 personal, 1 makeup), YouTube (though I'm not very established there yet), a facebook yard sale page, Tumblr, etc. I'm everywhere. 

My blogging began as an emotional outlet back in 2007. I was living more than a thousand miles away from home with a 3-year-old, a new baby who never slept, and a new husband who was also serving as a new soldier for the US Army. Everything was different, and I wanted to stay connected to friends and family back home. That's when Just-A-Detour was born.
As my readership expanded to strangers on the Internet, I started to worry about the privacy of my children, so around 2009 I made the difficult decision to go private with Just-A-Detour. When [ex]Husband's Army contract was up, we moved back home to Utah. With that move, and increasing marital problems, my little blog seemed less relevant and was all but abandoned. 

Too Much Aubrey was born out of desperation, which you can read about here if you don't know the story. My words demanded release, and they spilled onto this canvas like splattered paint. I didn't hold back, I didn't worry about over-sharing. As I wrote, I received so much feedback from others who struggled like I did, I found myself acting as a mental health advocate. (The community I found as a result of this has been an incredible support system. I recommend starting with Postpartum Progress and/or Stigma Fighters, if you're looking for a safe place to land.) 

The last five years have brought extreme change (another baby, divorce, new relationships, several moves, a new job, new perspective), which shifted my focus from basic survival to how to thrive. I'm all over the map on social media, because my passions spread across several genres. In my attempt to bring them together, here's what I realized: They are actually much more closely related than they seem. 

My quest for mental, physical, and emotional health has me searching for ways to care for myself, and ways to help others care for themselves. The absolute KEY to mental health is giving time to yourself to feel good, to look good, to remember you are of worth. We convince ourselves (especially us parents) that being a good person requires sacrifice of our own seemingly frivolous or vain practices - things as simple as getting dressed in something pretty, playing with makeup, accessorizing. We put ourselves at the bottom of the list, and if you're anything like me, you never reach the bottom of that list! We MUST allow ourselves space at the top of the list, at the very least in the top three, if we're going to properly care for those we love. 

It brings me joy to remind you to care for yourself. I love sharing my little tips and ideas to inspire you to have fun, play dress-up, feel gorgeous. Go out with friends or SO once in a while! I know it's tough. I know some of you won't make it past a movie in the living room, for babysitting or health reasons... But I implore you: put some earrings in, some blush on your cheeks, some perfume on your neck. Just once per month, if you must! "Steal" $10 per paycheck for yourself. If you didn't order pizza one night and made the kids fend for themselves instead, that $10 could pay for a product you've always wanted to try (or better yet, a subscription like ipsy or Birchbox, both of which I highly recommend!). I promise it will help lift the darkness.

The fact is, if you never give to yourself, you're going to burn out, and no one will even know all the things you sacrificed along the way. There's no benefit in martyring yourself for the sake of others, because in the end, it will catch up to you. 

I've decided to go full-force toward a new goal: my dream job. I've decided my skills, experience and needs make me the perfect candidate for a social media marketer / content manager career. I'm putting it out there in the universe, so my goal can materialize and I can stay focused. (I'm even taking a social media marketing course at Udemy, which is excellent, by the way.) My enthusiasm for blogging has been restored, and I'm (finally!) excited for my work again. I've even begun revisions on the book I wrote. 

New and improved, fully-restored Aubrey. 

Ready or not.

3 comments:

  1. Regarding 'stealing money for yourself " I think it's important to remember a very important budgeting goal. Pay Yourself First.

    " To pay yourself first means simply this: Before you pay your bills, before you buy groceries, before you do anything else, set aside a portion of your income to save. Put the money into your 401(k), your Roth IRA, or your savings account. The first bill you pay each month should be to yourself. This habit, developed early, can help you build tremendous wealth."

    Source:
    http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2009/10/19/pay-yourself-first/

    While that link refers to pay yourself first as a Method of wealth building I look at it as a self care technique and something to build on.

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  2. Yeah! I love this! I don't have much to offer, but I just wanted you to know I'm here, in your corner, rooting for you. (And reading your blog, which I do always!) xoxo

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  3. Yay!!! You are truly amazing hun! So excited for you and am looking forward to seeing more from you! :) (loves)

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