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What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Sunday, December 8, 2013

Up-Swing



When I wrote Fairytales, I was hopeful for a relationship with someone I thought was a great guy. I'll leave out the gory details, but let's just say that guy shattered any remaining hope I had for my fairytale. I quit blogging, quit trying, swore off dating. I decided I was FINISHED with men and would focus solely on my kids from now on. 

It was not more than a couple of days later I ran into an old friend from high school at my work, he added me on facebook, and we discovered we were both recently single. Remember how everyone tells you you'll find it when you aren't looking for it? Well I had NO idea they meant moments after I gave up I would find a guy who restored my faith in relationships. I can't say it was love at first sight or anything cheesy like that, because let's face it, we met 13 years ago in Sophomore biology class. But it was the closest thing to it, because after just a couple hours with him I knew I didn't want to date anyone else anymore. Every time I'm with him I feel like all those ridiculous love songs and movies. I feel like I'm home. Like I'm whole when he's with me. I haven't felt this in so many years, if ever. I didn't even believe I was capable of ever feeling it again. Like coming out of a deep darkness I've been trapped in for so long, and suddenly realizing what I've been missing. Joey makes me feel things I can't even put to words. I feel good enough. I feel important, I feel that classic "we're the only two people in the room" feeling. Like everyone else could just disappear and I'd still have enough, as long as he's there. 

Maybe it's too soon to put this out there, but I think it's time to start spilling my guts again. I can't do it halfway. This relationship is very new, only about 6 weeks, but I am willing to say it's blog-worthy. I don't feel like holding back, like I have every other time. I don't feel like treading lightly with this one. I didn't even know I was capable of jumping all-in again, but parts of me have been re-awoken in the last month and a half that I forgot resided within me. 

This is the part where I admit that I've always made fun of people who move this fast. Couples who say "I love you" in the first three months have always gotten the smh from me. Romance movies make me roll my eyes. Books about a boy and a girl who meet and a week later they are madly in love make me nauseous. "It's not that simple," I say. "This is ridiculous and far-fetched." 

Through my rose-colored glasses, I finally feel like I understand what they were talking about. Like I can believe in love again. 

2 comments:

  1. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am for you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am for you! :)

    ReplyDelete

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