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What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Friday, March 1, 2013

So here's the thing.

I haven't been blogging because it's hard.

In fact, I haven't been doing much of anything because doing things is hard. And by hard of course I mean difficult.

Being a grown-up is hard! I'm over it. I used to be all driven, like, "I'm gonna have a house and decorate it all beautiful and do all the things!"

Know what that got me?  A couple of fuzzy pictures of a house I no longer own, that was full of things which are now broken or lost. The money I spent on it? Gone. The people who saw it in its beautiful (and yes, even clean sometimes) glory? Out of my life now. It exists in a strange, hazy part of my memory that could maybe even be a dream at this point. I put every ounce of effort I possessed into making marriage work, and where did that get me? Single mom of three, shattered dreams all around me.

I didn't want to change jobs, changing jobs is hard! It takes effort and adjustment to change (which I'm terrible at, by the way). But I did it and I'm better for it. So I'm going to be making a few more changes. Because waiting around for things to get easier is just wasting my life, and let's face it, I'm facing thirty here soon! Do I want to be forty and have to say, "I didn't do it cause it's hard"? Pretty much no.

So I'm going to go to school. I have no idea how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to do it. I am ready to quit feeling sorry for myself and get back on track for making my OWN life happen. I am in charge of this family now and it's time to act like it.


3 comments:

  1. I'm hopping back on the blogging train too. You are so brave. Always remember that.
    What you are doing for yourself is setting such a great example for your boys. Hang in there. Someday, whenever that may be, this will all make sense.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yay! School! You can totally do this! Any ideas where you'll go or what you'll study?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Local tech school... possibly Esthetics if I dare!!

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