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The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
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I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Thursday, August 9, 2012

Static cling

I don't want to use my blog as a place to whine about the dating world. But the truth is, I've got stuff to say! And where do I say stuff? Well, you get the point.

(This is kind of like where you say, "No offense, but..." and proceed to insult someone.)

I have spent a bit of time getting out of the house, having fun, meeting some people. I've met some pretty great guys already, but there's one thing ya'll forgot to tell me. Remember how girls are supposed to be the clingy ones? Well that's just not true! (It turns out HUMANS are the clingy ones.)

If this is the impression I get from you, I am going to run away.


Note: I fully understand that "clingy" is just a negative way to say "attentive"; I'm aware it depends on your perspective. If you're ready for "clingy", then to you it looks like "attentive", but if you're coming from where I am (NOT ready for someone to depend on me), it's just plain clingy, and that's what this post is about.

I've been thinking a lot about the "nice guys finish last" issue. I've met several really nice guys, and I'm always attracted to them in the beginning because, well, who doesn't want someone to be sweet to them and make them feel good? I definitely do, but after a couple weeks, that nice guy turns into Static Cling Guy. What was a thoughtful "how was your day?" turns into a need for constant updates and desperate texts if I don't respond within the first five minutes of receiving their "what are you doing?" texts. This article about why nice guys always finish last has a lot of good points, like my personal favorite: "There aren't just two types of guys, nice guys and bad boys!" This is so true, why do the nice guys walk around believing there are only two categories of men? If we don't choose the overly-nice guy then OBVIOUSLY we chose the woman-abuser, right? Come on! The fact that you believe there are only two kinds of men speaks pretty loudly about your own self-confidence/awareness. How shallow would I be if I really believed that?

There's a fine line between Friend Zone and Perfect Guy, and that line lies in your ABILITY TO RESPECT BOUNDARIES. See this article for tips. No, really. Go read it. Another really good one: 10 Biggest Dating Turn-Offs for Women. The dating game has changed. Not that I ever participated in it to begin with, seeing as I've had a boyfriend (and then husband) since I was 13, but at this point dating revolves around texting, and it's not easy to keep a girl/guy's attention via text! I adore texting, despise the phone, and voice mail makes me angry... I ran across these tips on texting that I thought I'd pass on because they are pretty great.

The point is that I've already experienced two situations which felt like break-ups, and that's just wrong. Why are these guys trying to move so fast? What's the rush anyway? I am two and a half months into a separation from my husband of seven years... if you're pushing for a relationship, I'm downright terrified. And I'm pretty sure that doesn't make ME the weird one. 

4 comments:

  1. I don't know what I would do if I ever had to date again. Apparently the perfect middle ground between one night stands and third date marriage proposals is hard to find.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nearly impossible! I'm not looking for anything except FUN!

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  2. Hi!

    So I haven't been here for a really long time! But I am jumping back into the blogging world.

    You are so right, btw. I was one of these clingy guys, although I never stooped to the crazy "Where are you" texts. I think it is a tough line to straddle.

    Also, I was reading your comment above and at first I thought it read that you are looking for anything except fun!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Generally static clings can be available in a variety of sizes, designs, and shapes including window clings, static stick vinyl, static stick labels, and so on.

    ReplyDelete

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