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Thursday, August 2, 2012

Raising boys

Between daycare and transportation issues (and obviously not making enough money to support a family as a single mom), I am starting to think I'm going to have to quit my job. I haven't really figured out what's going to happen yet, but here's the part that's shocking me:

I'm really sad!

After thirteen months of whining and complaining about working in retail, I am actually going to be sad to leave my coworkers. I'll be sad to leave the place which became my escape from all the stressful, emotional things in my regular life.

It's time to be home with my kids for a bit, which will require that I take on an extra kid or two. The more I think about it, the more I think it's a good idea while I live in my mom's house. There's enough space here that I wouldn't go crazy with an extra couple of kids... a big, safe backyard... why not? (I'm referring to daycare, not birthing, btw.) I'm finally feeling stable enough that I could handle it and not just ignore the children. I'd be able to focus on the kids and have fun with them; I'm not just a shell of a parent anymore. I can proudly say that PPD doesn't live here anymore!

If there's one thing I know it's that my kids are growing too fast and I've already missed too much. Joshua needs a LOT of help if he's going to make it through fourth grade (fourth grade!!!). Asher is struggling with the separation, and Max has turned violent and mean. Re-teaching my kids to work on a schedule and be productive humans needs to be my FIRST priority.

There's not much time left. I know I sound like a psycho when I say that, but my Joshua is already nine! What time is left before he's completely out of my reach is precious. I'm raising boys to be men... perhaps I ought to act like it.


  1. Don't forget to plan for how you're going to deal with extra kids when "the big backyard outside" is not an option. I remember my days at daycare. Even for me at that time (between Asher and Max's age) winters were more stressful than summers because more kids were packed in less space during the winter.

  2. Can I just're stunning! Absolutely gorgeous!!

    This is a great idea as long as your head is in the game, and it sounds like it is. I'm happy for you.

    When my middle son was just about to go into kindergarten (he's 13 now) I got to spend the entire Summer leading up to it at home with him and then some. It was the greatest time of my life. I was able to be more frugal with things and get creative on things we could do together that didn't cost money. It was amazing.

    Live it up and enjoy. Those folks you're leaving will still be your friends. Keep in touch with them!

  3. Good for you! When I first moved to Idaho, all of our kids were I'm school and I decided to babysit 1 or 2 kids. When word got around that I was babysitting, my phone would ring all the time for new kids. I actually wasn't licensed, and for my own sanity, I had to turn people down. Some days I had 8 little kids under the age of 4. I really enjoyed it and I made good money, AND I only charged $2 an hr per kid.....which is cheap. (and even though I wasn't licensed, I was still able to have some of my groceries and such as a tax write off).
    Anyway, I sure loved all those sweet little kids, and (sometimes) I miss them!!!!

    You can do it if you put your heart into it. Good luck!!!!

  4. Good for you! Being a mom is hard, it means putting your kids first. I totally respect you for being a single
    parent and giving your kids the love and attention they deserve!

  5. This is an inspiring post. My girls are 12 and 13 and I was thinking of getting a job for financial reasons. But I am afraid to be unavailable in crucial I get what you are saying. It's difficult to balance everything. So glad to hear "PPD doesn't live here any more" Yay! for you.


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