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Saturday, July 21, 2012

What the world needs now is no more broken people.



I haven't been blogging, I've been living. It's kind of strange having so much to do that there isn't time to stop and write about it. And also kind of great.

But it's tiring. To say that I am exhausted would be a serious understatement. Emotionally, physically, every possible way... exhausted. 

Steve and I have been doing a lot of talking this week. We have both done some dating, so the subject has come up, and we agree on one thing (if nothing else):

What the world needs now is NOT more broken people.

My personal preference for referring to people who have had their heart broken is "broken". Because when your heart has been broken you are broken in so, so many ways. Steve and I have been broken for a long time now, and we know how it affects us... our relationship didn't stand a chance once we had each personally been broken beyond repair.

"What the world needs now is love" is true, I guess, if love is pure and perfectly kind and never hurtful. But I don't know about you, I've personally never seen love like that. Everywhere I look there is pain, so many people (especially ones who are my age) are broken way beyond their years. There is no more trust, no more loyalty, people are cheating and leaving and giving up and running away. People are taking what they want because they already know the other person will be doing the same for themselves, relationships are made of "maybe"s and "until it gets hard" and "if I don't get a better offer"s.

My new goal is to focus on myself. I have absolutely no idea who I am, except that I am broken, and the world can't afford any more broken people. Broken people draw other broken people toward them and breed more brokenness. If I don't want to create more broken people in this world, my only choice is to keep my brokenness to myself until I can figure out who I am and how to treat someone the way a person deserves to be treated.

I've been in self-destruct mode for two months now. It's time to pull out of it and get on with growing up, something I didn't do during adolescence.


(Just so we're clear, I'm aware this video is about drugs. That doesn't apply to me, but try to use your imagination and hear the message without reading too much into the specifics.)


Ed Sheeran - The A Team (Official Music Video) from Ruskin Kyle on Vimeo.

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for finding a word for how so many people feel. when one is broken they bring the pieces into the next relationship and proceed to break it as well. I myself had been broken but my case was mild, my ex fiancee however was too broken and it plagued our relationship to a point it almost broke me. I am lucky I am no longer in that setting. i had to take a lot of time for myself to heal and mend but had to promise not to bring the damages into my next relationship. I am proud of you. In time you will be ok. :) stay strong, find your emotional bandaid and heal. If you need someone feel free to talk to me.

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  2. YEs it definitely starts with you. You and I and everyone need to love ourselves first before anything. Mend ourselves. Love this.

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