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Sunday, June 3, 2012

Swing

My dad called and asked me, "Well, how's the roller coaster?" Perfectly stated, if I do say so myself.

I'm riding one hell of a roller coaster and the "mood" swings are making me a bit ill. One moment I am fine, happy to be alive and feeling like a free bird. The next moment I'm crying over lost dreams and failed plans.

Unfortunately people are getting caught in the middle of it because I don't live in a cave. My mom, especially. I have been kind of a beast and I feel just terrible about it. Except when I feel angry and resentful and completely selfish; at that point I'm only thinking of me.

I'm not sleeping. Even with ambien I am awake most of the night, tossing, turning, obsessing, worrying. Max doesn't want to sleep here either, so that's extra fun.

It's going to be OK. I know it's going to be OK. But damn it's hard.

2 comments:

  1. It's hard to get over something you've poured your heart into for so long. It sucks but time isn't your friend at the moment. Soon enough. xoxox

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  2. It's never a fun ride this bitch of a roller coaster...but just keep reminding yourself that there is an end of the line and you'll get there. I know you will

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