What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Does anyone else feel bad for Jessica Simpson right now?

I admit, the last thing on earth I care about is celebrity news. The fact that I know Jessica Simpson just had a baby says more about the media than it does about me, I promise.

But still. 

I can't help but feel bad for J.Simps. She's been incredibly open about her pregnancy, making statements that made even Jimmy Kimmel blush, but obviously she felt some pressure about her appearance, or I don't think she would have posed for this (pregnant) nude cover of Elle. (Which, obviously, is a much-airbrushed version of her body.)

I know how much pressure there was on me to get back in shape after I had my babies, and that was just simply pressure I put on myself... Can you even imagine hanging out in circles where you're competing with Beyonce's post-baby body

It's not news that those first few post-baby weeks are beyond difficult. The idea that you should be concerned about the appearance of your body while you're desperately trying to learn how to feed, clothe, change, vaccinate, and soothe your new little human is just laughable. I don't know about you, but for me just taking a shower every two days was a feat worthy of praise. If you're one of those incredible mothers who manage to go back to work looking like a human and taking your kid to daycare and everything, makeup on your face every morning, you deserve an award.

The media would have us believe you're doing something wrong if your body doesn't immediately look like a Victoria's Secret model (no, seriously, here's one for real) in your baby's first three months. The truth is your body holds on to that weight FOR A REASON! That reason is your baby! 

Maybe you're not breastfeeding. Maybe your baby isn't getting nutrients/fat from those extra pounds you gained. Well, more power to ya, I guess... but doing what it takes to lose 40 lbs in 3 months is not going to help you get through the long, sleepless nights of bouncing a baby on your hip for five and-a-half hours. When you are giving new motherhood your all, you need all the energy you can get. 

In addition to the struggle with your baby, maybe you already have older kids who still need you all the time. Perhaps you have a husband and he's ready to have sex again? All sorts of friends and loved ones want to visit the baby and all you want is to take a nap for the 15 free minutes you have post-feed. The last thing you need is to worry about what you look like in front of all these people. THE PRESSURE IS HIGH ENOUGH without the media latching on and posting pictures and commentary!

The truth about your post-baby body? Well, quite honestly, it looks more like this. (<--This is a good article about the reality of your body after delivering a baby, but it does contain a picture of a mostly-n-a-k-e-d pregnant woman. Fair warning.) 

Just before I delivered Joshua I caught a glimpse of my friend's mommy-tummy. It looked like this, only the stretch marks were brand new, so they were bright pink: 
I was absolutely horrified. If that's what I was going to look like after this pregnancy thing was over, I'd rather just die. Little did I know, MOST mothers are hiding this under their clothing. AND THAT'S OK. 

Picture credit
As the new generation of mothers, we are trying so hard to fight the stigma of Post-Partum Depression and the expectation that we should be able to do absolutely everything while maintaining a pretty smile. 

Perhaps if we didn't glorify those women who can pay a nanny to care for their children while they spend every minute in the gym, eating nothing but carrot sticks so they can walk down the red carpet/runway and not be criticized, the rest of us could stop feeling like failures for having a real woman's body. 


  1. I hear you. My neighbor down the street was absolutely horrified by her post-baby body. I would see her out before dawn, jogging up and down the street trying to get back in shape. I felt so bad for her. I might not be pleased with what pregnancy did to my body but I can celebrate that my body created 3 gorgeous kids. I can accept the flaws because of what the represent.

  2. Great post. We put way too much emphasis on how we look, pregnant or otherwise. Plastic surgery is off the charts. And how about those women sticking tubes through their noses into their stomachs to lose weight? Crazy. It's ridiculously difficult to maintain self esteem with the media trumpeting slick, thin women with no hips. It's up to us to know who we are and understand our self worth. Thanks for writing about it...

  3. I really love this post! I completely admit, I am way too much of a perfectionist and really put a lot of pressure on myself about this very issue. At the same time, I know it's totally ridiculous that women should be made to feel like what we look like is more important than giving ourselves the time to enjoy the happy but exhausting journey in to all things motherhood - especially with an infant. Celebs can afford a nanny, a cook, a nutritionist and personal trainer and have to or they will lose work. Luckily, we don't have that kind of pressure once we stop putting in on ourselves. I wish I had a flatter tummy but I also enjoy it when my son and I go out for ice cream and eat together :)

    That is a great interview with Jessica Simpson, I love how honest and straight forward she is about everything! Awesome post!

  4. This is so true. I like to say that nothing on my body is as high as it used to be. But you know what? It's worth it. I see my c-section scar and saggy belly, and I'm grateful for them.

    People need to give women--we need to give ourselves--a break.

  5. Here here, Aubrey! We need to take self-image and beauty back from these celebrities and magazines and their unrealistic expectations!

  6. This is a great post. The media creates this bullsh*t perception that getting one's pre-baby body back is a breeze and can be done almost immediately and only by breastfeeding . . . well at least that is how all the celebs/models say they did it. Sigh.

  7. You are right, there is so much pressure just from yourself to get back into your pre-pregnancy clothes and get that tummy tightened up again. It was definitely something that stressed me out more than I should have let it. Which is probably why I was only able to breast feed for 6 weeks. :/ And I didn't get to thoroughly enjoy the first few months of my newborn son. This was a great post. Stopping by from yeahwrite. :)

  8. At the end of my pregnancy someone said to me "it took nine months to put it on so let yourself take nine months to take it off." For some reason that reassured me. Now my baby is 9 months old and it's still on. But it seems to matter so much less than I thought it would. Great post - thanks!

  9. I'm currently trying to get my pre-pregnancy body back, but I must admit that I'm glad I don't have that "celebrity pressure" to deal with. It's just horrible! I do feel bad for Jess. And I love those preggy photos you posted. Posts like these are awesome because it helps new moms to love themselves still - after the baby. I have 3, and sometimes I still look at the mirror and go, ewwww. But then I'm like, "I have 3 beautiful kids!" ;)

  10. Have you seen the blog that has all the belly photos? It's wonderful, disturbing, lovely, ugly, comforting. I don't mind airbrushed covers, I wouldn't want my belly to be on the cover as it is. Are you kidding? And sure, I'd love some extrinsic motivation to get into better shape - but I don't have it. The Newman's I just ate prove that. Great post. Loved it.

  11. Great post. It's hard enough to get through newborn life, never mind having to look good. I don't envy those women in the spotlight at all. Even if they do have the means to get their body back.

  12. I loved your angle in this post. Why don't we all just agree to be gentle with ourselves and with others? Ellen

  13. Amen. That's all I need to say. Great post. I've missed you!!!


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