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The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
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I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Friday, March 16, 2012

Today

So there you are, mostly through with your Friday shift, and you're thinking of all the things you'll do when you get home. Your nails are all festive and you bought a cute new tank to wear to the St Patrick's Day party you're going to after work. About the time you start counting down the minutes until you get to clock out for the weekend, your boss is in dire need of someone to cover a closing shift. You agree because you missed a day earlier in the week, and you figure you really need the money. After all, you're not even sure if what's in the account now will cover the rent check you already wrote.

"Sure, I'll stay 'till ten." At 4:00 that doesn't sound so bad.

But you forgot it's Friday, which means it's Rich Bitch day at work, so you'll be dealing with attractive, rich women all evening who think they're better than you.

After a few hours of their rude treatment of you, you are starting to get fed up. At this point you've got a short fuse no matter who comes walking into the fitting room. You almost yell, "Do I look like your maid?" at the woman who says on her way out of the fitting room, "You'll need to go in there and pick up my number. I can't pick it up because of my nails." Mid-way through a work day this woman is shopping and can't be bothered to pick up something she dropped. And her teenage daughter? Yep, she just follows along behind, dumping some clothes on her way past the invisible fitting room attendant. Why couldn't her daughter pick up the number she dropped? Well because she grew up watching her rich mother use her artificial fingernails as an excuse to be lazy and rude.

At one point your boss implies that your job is soooooo easy and you almost lose your shit, but you can make it through this shift. It's fine.

By the time you've counted down the very last minutes of your nine-hour shift and it's time to clock out, you're so sick of the little kid who has been ringing the bicycle bell in the toy department for twenty-five minutes that you can't get out of the building fast enough. As soon as your foot hits the gas pedal, you remember. Your son is completely out of almond milk, and seeing as he's allergic to everything else on the planet and refuses to sleep without his almond milk, it looks like you'll be taking a trip to the grocery store before you go home.

Picking up the phone, you call your husband to vent. "Honey, I'm so tired," he says. "Hurry home, I miss you. And could you pick up some Perrier while you're at the store?"

Your feet are killing you and you're cursing whoever decided to put milk at the BACK of every single grocery store on the planet, but you can make it through this last little errand before you collapse, you'll be fine. You're just being a baby; people work 9-hour shifts all the time!

Your cashier decides to take a phone call from her kids the moment you reach the front of the line. That's fine because really you don't want to talk to anyone.

Except the woman who bags your groceries is just standing there staring at you. You muster that last polite smile of the evening, and she says cheerily, "Hi!" You don't respond, so she says, "Is it a boy or a girl?" You realize her eyes are on your stomach and say, "Sorry?" She says, "Oh, sorry," and looks away. Instead of saying something you want to say, your cheeks burn and you awkwardly grab your groceries and rush out of the store before you cry.

You turn the key in the car door and realize you forgot Husband's Perrier. You remember the last time you forgot to pick up his drink and he said you never think about him. But there's no way in hell you're going back in that store, so you just get in the car.

You hardly notice the red light because you're burning with anger and embarrassment, and all those days you knew you should be working out but you were so damn tired... You realize the tears should be falling by now, but they aren't because you're stone cold at the age of twenty-seven. You wonder if you even remember the last time you cried? You've felt like crying every day for years, but real tears? Maybe you're not capable of crying anymore...

When you get in the house Husband doesn't understand why you're upset. You don't want to re-live the experience, so you just tell him it's been a long day and you're tired. He's tired too because he's been up since the day before, and don't worry honey I don't need the Perrier, and I couldn't put the baby to bed because his bed was wet.

Wait... so you waited for me to come home and change his sheets?

You remind yourself Husband worked an 8-hour shift last night and hasn't been to bed since. Then they see you. They're so happy you're home, and they're yelling "Mommy! You're home!" and hugging your legs. This is the first you've felt OK all day and you happily tell the 2yo that you brought him almond milk. He lights up, "You brought me some milk? I want some! Get me some milk, Mom!" Finally, you've done something right.

The almond milk comes out in chunks. You check the expiration date. It should be fine, but it has definitely gone bad. The 2yo is staring at you, asking for his milk. The entire reason for going to the store, and you can't even give him the damn milk.

The tears finally fall. Your family is staring at you, wondering what the hell just happened here, and all you can do is cry harder. Until the hyper-aware 6yo starts to cry. And you have to explain to him that sometimes life just gets to be too much, but at least you have each other.

And the tears prove you're still human after all.

6 comments:

  1. Oh hun! It sounds like you had a very tough day! Text me if you ever need to vent! Hopefully you will have a somewhat relaxing weekend.
    P.S. go punch the girl in the boob that said that about you! How RUDE!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh man...that was a terrible day...my anxiety was raising reading this.
    I hope that you have a better saturday.
    PS. Kick those rich bitches in the taco with your mind. It'll make you giggle.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Wish I could have helped you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just discovered this in my inbox. Somehow didn't see it before now. It seriously sucks. Not the writing. That is excellent. Just realizing how crappy your day was (as if this only happened once?) and I had no idea. Please don't hesitate to ask for help. Ever!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just discovered this in my inbox. Somehow didn't see it before now. It seriously sucks. Not the writing. That is excellent. Just realizing how crappy your day was (as if this only happened once?) and I had no idea. Please don't hesitate to ask for help. Ever!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Just discovered this in my inbox. Somehow didn't see it before now. It seriously sucks. Not the writing. That is excellent. Just realizing how crappy your day was (as if this only happened once?) and I had no idea. Please don't hesitate to ask for help. Ever!

    ReplyDelete

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