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The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
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I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Thursday, February 9, 2012

Misunderstanding each other since 2003

You know how Meg Ryan (well, her character in You’ve Got Mail) could never think of the right thing to say at the right moment? She explains how in the heat of an argument, she just stands there in stunned silence, only realizing later what she could/should have said. Growing up I was more of a Joe from Fox Books kind of thinker, the kind who could spit back anything you threw at me, but with a little more sting to it, only realizing later that I shouldn’t have said it. (I probably should have put my foot in my mouth and left it there my entire school career - people would have liked me better.)

These days I’m the sit in silence and seethe type. 
I don’t do a lot of blogging about my relationship, as it tends to be too personal to really share. I’ve kept no secret about our rocky relationship, but I also don’t use it as blog fodder. (Although I do threaten to use it as such pretty regularly.) 

Number one, I don’t want to unintentionally hurt Husband. Every once in a while he gets a crazy idea to read Way Too Much Aubrey, and I just simply don’t want to fight about what’s featured here. 

Number two, he is a professional, and I don’t want to risk his future for the sake of a funny story. 

Number three, our relationship tends to be less than humorous, more on the side of emotionally exhausting, so this is one of my few places to escape all that, as opposed to diving more deeply into it. 

That said, I spend a significant amount of time wondering if I am doing a disservice to the blogging community by keeping this wealth of marital knowledge to myself (ha, ha). 

What’s better to teach than an example of what not to do? And it’s not like I’m ever going to Forrest Gump the subject… I will never come to a point where “that’s all I have to say about that”, so this blog could potentially live forever!

The details don’t matter much, but this morning Husband and I got in an extremely common (for us) argument about music/media. This is a subject we are seriously divided over, and it’s a gap that is simply never going to be bridged. As a married couple this isn’t really a big problem, but as parents… well, I don’t need to explain it to you. It makes you see things differently.

Like I said, the details aren’t important, but at some point in the (ok, every) conversation Husband insists that I explain WHY I feel a certain way. When I can’t come up with a response, this feels like a victory to him. Obviously my inability to explain my point of view proves that my point is invalid, therefore obviously stating that he is, in fact, right.

I wish I could find a way to explain that it isn’t that I have no reasoning. It’s more the desperate feeling of knowing we will never understand each other that keeps me in stunned silence.

1 comment:

  1. GOD, do I KNOW this feeling. Have you tried writing it down? Even if you don't share it with him, sometimes an argument with The Husband forges into a blog post explaining my point of view to the world (a POV he won't ever read) and it prepares me better to state my case to him. Just a suggestion. Hugs. Marriage is HARD.

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