What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
If you leave me a comment, I will love you forever. :)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

NaNoWriMo, why must you taunt me?

Last year I discovered NaNoWriMo and fell in love with the idea. I'm an all-or-nothing kind of person, why wouldn't I love this idea??

One of my favorite lines from anything ever is this: "What's a good thing for, if not taking it to excess?"
(Guido, from the musical Nine. Also happens to be my all-time favorite movie AND soundtrack.)

This pretty much sums me up all in one neat little line of a song.

Right before NaNoWriMo began last year, after hours and hours agonizing over how I would accomplish it, I finally decided it wasn't for me. At least not at that time. I'd do it next year. Surely next year would be more calm. (Haha, kind of like, "Next year we'll have more money for Christmas. I'm going to save this year. No really, I am!" Never happens.)

This year I considered it, but honestly I'm already struggling enough with what I have on my plate. And that broke my heart. So I sent out a tweet that said something like, "I really wish I could do NaNoWriMo this year! But I work retail and it's almost Christmas!" People responded to me that I've never even heard of. Random people saying things like, "I have two kids, two dogs, a chicken and a horse, a part-time job, a full-time job and go to school part-time and I'm doing it!" (<--only slightly exaggerated. The chicken and horse I added myself. The rest is a legit quote.)

This, my friends, is what we call bragging.
And bragging, in case you haven't lived a day of your life out in society, is rude. Just so you know.

Back to the point: even without the bragging and the "I'm doing it, why can't you"s, I was already feeling guilty. Why can't I write lately? Why can't I just finish something? Anything?

But I was already feeling guilty about other things, too. Not giving Husband enough attention lately. Not helping Josh with his homework (and then he comes home with terrible scores: double guilt). Not reading to Max. Not cleaning the house. Guilt Guilt Guilt Guilt Guilt.

Of course my family wins the priority war, so NaNoWriMo, you can just quit yer braggin and back off.

I'll have time for you next year. ;)


  1. Listing all the things that are wrong with ourselves, or the areas where we are less than perfect is an easy thing to do . . . in fact it's so easy that others can do it for us.

    What's really hard, and much more worthwhile, is getting up each day and doing the best we can to live up to our obligations and doing the best we can to support our family (even if our best is not the same as someone else's best). That's where life's real successes are lived.

    Anyone on the internet can tell you what you want to hear to make you feel good about yourself (and about them), or make you feel guilty beyond all reason. People seldom tell you the whole story about themselves so you have no idea where their lives are "failing" while they focus on something that is overwhelmingly important to them.

    Peace in life comes from focusing on what is really and truly important to YOU. Peace comes from focusing on those things that have lasting value . . . things like your family . . . your husband and your kids . . . and your own sense of worth.

    Unhappiness comes from pursuing someone else's dreams and trying to fit our lives into their current circumstances and desires. Building relationships is much more important than writing about them. Living life in a virtual dream world is easy. Living life in the real world is hard . . . it requires sacrifice and commitment.

    Making the hard choice you have made this year is an act worthy of celebration, not guilt.

  2. Dude, you have all the time in the world to write a novel. You don't need to jam it in a month just because everyone else with a chicken and two elephants are doing it. Do it because you want to, when you can and when your heart feels fully into it.
    Poop on the haters.

  3. For a minute there I thoughht I was missing out on something cool. Then I followed the link. Whew! Safe! I'm not missing anything.

    Seriously though, here's to next year!

    Of course now that Kimberly has clued me in that you are a dude, I may need to stop reading this blog. That's just creepy.


  4. LOL Chris, I had no idea you ever read my blog. Good to know you're still alive! Haven't heard anything snarky from you in a while. :)


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