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The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
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I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

In case you doubt the validity of the term "Terrible Twos"

Things Max has done this month that classify him as "terrible" and "almost two":

  • Peed in the dishwasher. (full of clean dishes, no less!)
  • Jumped out of his crib.
  • Since getting a "big boy" bed, he no longer goes to sleep. Takes an hour or more, and he usually spends that time climbing on Josh, jumping on Josh, hitting Josh with things he finds in his room, playing with blocks and cars, and asking me to let him watch his favorite YouTube videos. (Yes. I know.) Right this moment he's in his room, sliding things under his door, trying to get my attention so I'll let him out. Nice try, buddy.
  • Tonight as I was putting him to bed, he hit me in the face and said, "STOP IT!" When I told him firmly not to yell at me, he signed "sorry" and made a sad face. 
  • Learned how to open child-proof medicine bottles. Tried to pour himself an extra "dose" of Triaminic tonight; ended up pouring it all over the desk instead. 
  • Colored on every single surface in this house.
  • Smeared his own poo on the living room micro suede chair (now THAT was a fun clean).
  • Turned into a sword.
  • Convinced me to feed him cookies for breakfast.
  • Thrown more food at the floor and walls than he has digested.
  • Broken my favorite votive holder. 
  • Ripped Joshua's homework in half. 
  • Broken the binding to 3 of our favorite children's books (which lasted just fine through Josh AND Asher), by bending them backward till the front cover and back cover touch. He likes to hear the binding crack. (Mom = ANGER)
Oh, don't you dare go thinking this is a complete list. I tend to block out the things he does in order to continue loving him. 


  1. Ya, I think moms are wired to not notice the really bad stuff. The peeing in the dishwasher thing though, I'm pretty sure I caught my husband doing that, so maybe they don't outgrow all the 2 year old behaviour.

  2. Okay I won't complain about the Monkey - he hasn't done those things, yet!!

  3. I assume he jumps on Josh because he's tolerant of it and doesn't jump on Asher because he makes it clear that jumping on him is unacceptable . . .

  4. Haha, I definitely needed this laugh, but I'm sure I won't be laughing when it happens to me!

  5. On the bright side, at least Josh gets to say "my brother broke my homework" and be backed up by his mother....

  6. Hehe Haha, I am so glad that I dont have a 2 year old anymore. Although my 3 year old ripped my oldest's homework in half once this year.

    The coloring thing I think is a right of passage for all kids. I hate that right of passage.

  7. Sandra, as always, I'm laughing so hard right now.

    Dad, Max jumps on Josh because he's accessible. Josh is on the bottom bunk; he would definitely jump on Asher as well if Asher wasn't on the top bunk.

    Russell, 3 year olds are just glorified 2 year olds. ;)

  8. Oh my gosh! He is SO stinking cute. WOW! Love that cheesy smile. It's almost too sweet. I know there is just NO WAY he could have peed in the dishwasher...that is too funny!

    I saw your sweet comment on Jill's blog about spreading the word about the Thanksgiving gifts for others. It is so kind of you to take time to spread the word : ) You have a beautiful heart!

  9. Um, but that PHOTO. Keep writing it all down for sweet retribution when he has his first 2 year old. :)


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