What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Monday, October 3, 2011

What I don't wish they knew.

I've written 18,000 words in the book I wrote for my nieces, which I've titled What I Wish, because it is filled with lessons I now understand that I wish I'd understood back in high school. That's 55 pages of things I consider to be a decent heads-up that could help them between now and adulthood. 

I didn't mention to them, however, that I'm only twenty-seven years old, and I have already attended too many of my classmate's funerals. And I'm about to attend another.

I don't want them to know that the cute boy they flirt with or the girl they eat lunch with every day could, in just a few short years, be gone forever. I don't want to have to tell them just five years after high school they may end up standing in front of a mirror in a black dress and black shoes, holding back tears as they choose tasteful earrings to wear to their friend's funeral.

I don't want them to know that after high school they will probably only see people from their past (besides a select few) at those funerals.

Husband says I carry the Curse of Death. He says everyone who has ever known me is in danger of death because they knew me in high school. I think if he paid more attention, he'd find that just as many (or more) people from his past are gone now too. I have lost people to everything from falling down a mountain, to drugs, to suicide, and I don't believe it's due to any "curse."

Unless that curse is "Adulthood."

I don't want to go see my friend in a casket.
Even though I haven't spoken to him in over a year, or seen him in at least five years, I want my friend back.


  1. So sorry to hear of your loss. As much as you want to protect those girls young enough to still be naive to the hurt of such losses, these sad events are an opportunity to teach them how quickly life can change, the need to be aware and thoughtful in their actions, and to appreciate everything they have, especially those in their lives.
    Did you ever give them the book?

  2. Not yet. I've been putting off the publishing, I think I'm just too afraid it isn't good enough yet. I need to let go of that concern and just do it. After all, the idea was to get it to them for junior high, and two of them have already been in junior high for 3 months now!

  3. Hi! New follower from Bloggy Moms October Blog Hop :-)

    Sorry for your losses. How sweet that you are writing the book for your nieces. They are so lucky! :-)

    Feel free to stop by my blog at

  4. Joined you from bloggy mom october hop. found your profile interesting so thought I would follow. You can follow me back at:


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