What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
If you leave me a comment, I will love you forever. :)

Monday, September 26, 2011

Everyone who pissed me off today (working retail sucks)

Dear Supervisor,

If you ask me how I'm doing and I say, "Eh, it's Monday! How are you?"
Don't reply by saying, "More tired than you, probably."

What does that even mean?
What would possess someone to say that?
Did I say, "I'm the most tired-est person in the whole entire world!" ??

No, I did not.

This means the appropriate response would be something similar to, "I'm really tired today."
I didn't ask to compete with you, so leave your competitive spirit at home.

OR, if you'd like to compare notes, we can talk about which one of us has three kids, and exactly what that means in the realm of exhaustion.

Oh yeah, and if I make a gorgeous display that will draw customers to buy things, don't just tell me "that's not where that goes." Try a little harder to pretend you care, eh?



Dear Manager,

If I've worked for the last six hours and done absolutely everything in my job description and MORE, don't walk in at the end of my shift and immediately start talking about what I should have been doing. If you don't know what I've been doing, perhaps you should ask.

You asked for a doll house, I gave you a doll house.

Also, try not to announce to every employee in the store, "Aubrey has been standing around all day doing NOTHING because none of you asked her to scan everything in the entire store."

(We can't read your mind.)

And unless you'd like to review the security cameras and watch me wash the damn WALLS in order to be productive when there was nothing to do... please don't accuse me of doing nothing. You like to threaten to watch the tapes, so perhaps you should actually do that.

Just a thought.



Dear Customers,

The next person to break open a package to examine its contents without buying it, or even attempting to put it back together, gets a punch to the uterus.

For the love of God, people, shop on Mondays! I know most of you are stuck at work like me, and the rest of you are probably stuck at home with kids... but I'm begging you to take the bus, or walk, or ride a bicycle! Whatever it takes, just PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY BOREDOM!!!

Saturday = HUGE RUSH

See? There are benefits, people!

While we're chatting, could I also just ask you to stop yelling, "HELLO?!" if I'm not standing RIGHT where you expect me to be when you show up there? That would be pretty great.

Oh! One more thing! If I say. "Hi, how many items do you have? ... Oh, you have eight?" (I hand you a card with the number 8 on it and smile), and I say, "Thank you, it's this way," don't be a jerk and ignore me. I know for a fact I'm speaking out loud, so just be polite and respond. It's not actually that difficult to acknowledge that I'm a human standing there, not just a clothing rack.


P.S. Please stop pinching your kids. It makes me very sad. 

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