What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Asher turns six

The day Joshua decided Asher would make a good addition to his wagon.

For the first two weeks, all Asher did was SLEEP.

...and sleep.

When he woke up, he never slept again.

Tiny baby Asher feet.

Asher was born after a long, drawn-out labor, complete with an epidural that wore off, tons of horrific pushing with absolutely NO progress, dropped heartbeat, and then an emergency C-section, including general anesthesia and an idiot nurse who forgot to give me pain meds afterward.

It was not a pleasant experience, and I did it all without his father (who was in US Army basic training at the time).

Some force of the universe knew that my recovery was going to be long and painful, so it made sure Baby Asher slept for the first two weeks of his life. I remember constantly checking his pulse to be sure he was still alive, and putting him in the baby bathtub in order to wake him up so he would eat.

Then, almost exactly two weeks after he was born, Asher woke up. And I never got him back to sleep again. (Not until he was almost three.) Sleep training was a traumatic process for both of us, and I'm pretty sure I went a little insane there for a while (I know now this was PPD, mixed with extreme sleep deprivation). Some days I literally had to force my eyelids open with my fingers just to be sure he and his brother were safe, because I was too exhausted to stay awake.

One thing we never struggled with was breastfeeding. Joshua hated nursing, so he was a bottle-fed baby, but he was unhealthy most of his life. When Asher was born I was determined to breastfeed, just in case all those people who claim it would make him healthy were right (they were; he has always been in perfect health). He took to it just perfectly, and I put off weaning him for fear of his reaction. (The only sleep I managed to get was sitting up in his rocking chair while he nursed himself to sleep. The moment I moved him to his bed, he screamed until I retrieved him.)

At seventeen months, Asher bit me while nursing. He had teeth, and it was a nasty bite. I jumped and screamed "ow!" and do you know what that little monster did? He POINTED and LAUGHED at me. Not making it up, he pointed at my face and laughed out loud. He thought what he did was funny!

I quit breastfeeding cold turkey that day.

That's kind of what it's been like to raise Asher. He's been an absolute joy in our lives, but if you don't do things his way, he finds a way to make it uncomfortable for you. somehow it has been six years already, and my little baby Ash is not a baby at all anymore. It breaks my heart a little, but I enjoy him so much, it's hard to complain. He's an amazing big brother to little Max, and he's got a long list of sweet, charming qualities that make me melt. Everyone who meets him loves him, and his ability to make friends everywhere he goes is remarkable.

My favorite thing about Asher is the way he sings me little songs he's made up, randomly without provocation. The best one:

I love you
I love you
You're so cute that I want to kiss you!
I love you
I love you
(finishes with a kiss and hug around my neck)

Sweetest little boy. How lucky I am to have him!

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