What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
If you leave me a comment, I will love you forever. :)

Monday, August 29, 2011

Please don't ask me if you look like a ho.

We all know I work in the fitting room at a clothing store. I spend 35 hours per week counting the items (and therefore noticing the items) people take in and out of the dressing room. You know how you feel like you need a friend to go with you, just in case your judgment is off about how you look in the new jeans? Well, I'm assuming you do, because almost EVERYone has an audience. The teenage girls tend to have mothers or fathers who demand that they come out and model each and every outfit, including bending over and checking that their ass doesn't hang out the back or their cleavage doesn't show too much. Occasionally there is an obnoxious teen who complains and argues with Mom or Dad about how tight the pants are, or how low the shirt is, but most of them just see it as a fact of life that they are not in charge of this decision.

Clearly I am not the type to keep my opinion to myself, which makes it difficult to stand there pretending not to be an unwelcome onlooker of their affair.

Then there's the fully-grown women who need their husband's approval for each purchase. It has seriously shocked me how common this is, and believe it or not, it's not because they are spending money - it's because they need to see if it makes their wife look like she's revealing too much of herself.

I know. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

I'm not great at keeping my opinion to myself, but it's my job, so I almost always stay out of it. There have been two times I've been completely unwilling (unable?) to keep my mouth shut.

Scenario #1:

A pregnant girl with her Hispanic boyfriend, his mother and sisters. She has a very cute pregnant stomach, big because she's short, and clearly in her last trimester, but the rest of her is still perfectly-sized. She isn't even trying on maternity clothes; she fits just fine in the regular junior size dresses. That girl tried on fifteen different dresses, each time coming out to parade around in front of her boyfriend and ask his opinion.

Hopeful, she asks, "What do you think?" 
Every time, without fail, he stares her down with a look of distaste.
Not ONE WORD to her.

Several times I heard her sigh as she walked back into the dressing room, looking defeated.
At one point I even heard her say, "I feel like a cow," under her breath.

Now, I KNOW what huge looks like! (Proof below)

That's me, on the right - pregnant with the third child
I'm not unfamiliar with the feeling, or the appearance, of a gigantic pregnancy. Every girl feels like a cow, even if she looks adorable when she's carrying another person inside her at one point or another. But THIS GIRL LOOKED AWESOME.

She looked like this.
Finally, the boyfriend's mother spoke up.
"It's because you want it to be tight, right?" she asked him.
He just blushed and walked away, shaking his head.

So, apparently because she didn't look like this:

...she wasn't sexy to him. And as a result, she felt like she was hideous in every single beautiful, flattering dress she tried on. This is one of those times I spoke up and told the woman she looked incredible, even though it (of course) didn't do any good. She left with tears in her eyes, carrying nothing she could buy that would please her significant other. I'm not exaggerating when I say I didn't get over it for HOURS. I was livid the rest of my shift, and even after I went home.

Scenario #2:

Super cute girl who reminds me of the chick from 500 Days of Summer comes in with several dresses to try on. Creepy older guy is her audience, who at first I assumed was her father, but changed my mind as I saw how he reacted to her body.

First dress:
Same neckline, but she had even more popping out of it.

The dress was royal blue, absolutely beautiful, but my first impression was (no exaggeration), "Street-walker." It turns out she's shopping for a dress to wear to a wedding.

After quite a bit of discussion with Creepy Older Guy, she turns to me and catches me looking at her. She looks at me with a desperate look on her face, and says, "Honestly. Do I look like a whore in this?"

She ASKED me! Point-blank! It wasn't my fault.
What choice did I have??
It's against everything within me to deny this woman the truth.

"It's too much," I said, confirming her fear.

"Ok, thank you," she said genuinely.
Creepy Older Guy gaped at me, horrified at what I had done.

She left, after many other tries, with a dress like this one:
 ...which she looked completely incredible in. Even the guy agreed that it was sexy without going over the top. On her way out she said, "Thank you so much for your honesty. So many people say they'll be honest, but they can't do it. I really appreciate it."

I think we all know this could have ended in a very different way, involving a manager or two. But it was seriously refreshing coming across someone who truly appreciated the honesty I gave her, and boy did I avoid a catastrophe in that one!

I guess the moral of the story is Don't ask me if you look like a ho. I'll tell you that you do, if you do, in fact, look like a ho. It's my responsibility as part of the fashion industry to not let you walk around embarrassing yourself in front of your friends and family, and probably even your ex. Just don't do it. Sexy doesn't always mean showing your everything!

(And don't ask me my opinion. I could lose my job.)


  1. I admire your restraint! To only have said something twice? Awesome. And I do believe that when people try things on and ask for an opinion, they DO want an honest one. They don't want to spend good money on something they clearly had doubts about (or they wouldn't have asked) only to go home & regret it. So good on you!

  2. Aw, thanks! I'm all giddy that you read my post, lol! Seriously, though, it's really hard to keep quiet sometimes. Tonight someone asked me for an honest opinion between two cardigans. I gave her my honest opinion, she was grateful, and promptly decided to ask me when my baby is due. I'm not pregnant, but thanks, Lady, for reminding me that I still look like I am, two years after my last baby was born. Sometimes people SHOULD keep their mouths shut!

  3. Loved this post should totally be paid to write!
    And shame on that person who asked when you're due!

  4. Ha, I wish I could be paid to write! I would be so happy. :)


Comments make me ultra happy! Tell me who you are, what you think, why you're here...