What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Man, it feels good to be myself again.

My good friend Courtney covered up all the blonde... I'm me again!

...well, I will be when I start working out/running...

The night we thought our baby might die.

So I'm a brunette. And I think I'm meant to stay that way! Maybe I was just sick of the blonde for now, but it sure seems like this is what I ought to have been all along. I feel like me again.

My kids responded pretty strongly to the change.
Joshua saw me and said, "What happened to your hair?"
I said, "Courtney changed it to brown. Do you like it?"
"Hmm," he said, looking completely bewildered, and he walked away.
Later that day he came up to me and said politely, "Mom, I don't want to make you feel bad, but I really liked your hair the way it was before. You didn't need to change it."
Ah, Joshua. Always the sweet one. :)

Asher said, "Mom! I thought you had blonde hair!"
"I did," I said. "Courtney changed it to brown. Do you like it?"
"Um... I guess. But you look beautiful with blonde hair!"
Later that week he heard me say something about my hair being a mess, so he said, "But Mom! You look beautiful with your new brown hair!"

Max didn't seem to notice at all. He loves me to pieces lately, which is a huge change! I am loving the attention from him, since he never seemed to notice me much before.

Husband hasn't had much of a reaction at all, which is annoying, to say the least. I guess that's what I get, knowing he loved the blonde!

So you want to know about the night my baby almost died? Fine, I'll tell you.
It wasn't pleasant.

Whenever Max gets a cold, he gets really sick. It isn't just a little cold for him, it always takes on a life of its own and takes over his body. There's almost always something more serious accompanying Max's sniffles, so I've turned into that mom who calls the doctor the minute her baby sneezes. So far it has always proven necessary with 3rd Baby. A couple weeks ago he came down with a cold, accompanied by high fever. I took him to the doctor, she checked his ears and said he had two ear infections. Knowing Max's stomach doesn't tolerate antibiotics [anything] well, we decided to give him two rounds of shots instead of oral antibiotics. He seemed to be better in a matter of hours, and we moved on with our lives.

About a week later Max had a bad fever again. I took him to the doc that day to have him checked out, and she said his ears were fine, but his heartbeat was concerning her. It was about 152, which was high for him, and he didn't currently have a fever. She sent us home with instructions to use his inhaler and keep up with the Motrin. The next morning he was acting all better, so we went to Husband's mother's house for the evening. I left the baby with my mother-in-law for twenty minutes while I picked Husband up from work, and on my way back I got a phone call from her, wondering if I had any Tylenol for him. Apparently he was burning up. I said I'd stop at the store for more Ibuprofen on the way back, and I'd be there soon.

When Husband and I got back to the house (only 25 minutes after we'd left), little Max was screaming and bright red all over. They had taken his clothes off and he was still sweating. Mother-in-law took his temp and it was 103.8 degrees! We tried to give him Ibuprofen we bought, but he immediately threw it up all over me, so we just drove him straight to Primary Children's Hospital. (Best hospital in the world. Love them.) Thank goodness for Medicaid, because this little one has become a very expensive little one when it comes to medical stuff! We would be on the street if we had had to pay for his bills all by ourselves.

At the ER, the Triage RN said his heart rate was way too high (but didn't tell us what it was), and his temperature had climbed to 105.8. The doctors came in, one after another, panicking about my little baby. They told us he had been classified as the highest level of concern in the Triage, which is red, so we'd be seeing a lot of docs in a very short amount of time. They weren't kidding.

One thing you should know is that I have an extreme fear of needles. Maybe it's more a fear of blood? Either way, I can barely stand to make my kids get immunizations (but I do because I care about them), and drawing blood or IV's is just beyond torturous. Thank God we have the technology, but I will seriously pass out. Anyway, the nurses had to put an IV in my little guy, and they sucked at it, so they had to try three different times. The third time's a charm, but I ended up in the hall hyperventilating, so Husband held him through it. (I already feel like the worst mom ever for not staying in there to hold him, so don't judge. Probably would have been worse had I passed out!)

When I came back in the room, my baby's little hand was all wrapped up and the tears streaming down his face were just too much. The nurse (another one) said, "I'm not sure what tests they're going to want to run, but he'll probably order a catheter to test for UTI." I burst into tears, and I'm pretty sure I shouted, "You are KIDDING ME!" at her... but I can't be certain. (Apparently I'm THAT mom.) It turns out she didn't know what she was talking about, she was just guessing out loud... and I didn't see her again.

Apparently my little outburst triggered a shift change. Oops.

After three hours of IV fluids, lab tests that showed basically nothing, and a chest X-ray, the doctors let us go home. They said his temperature had come down to normal (after a dose of Motrin), and his heart rate wasn't quite what they wanted it to be, but they didn't see any reason they would need to keep him. They informed me that my baby's heart rate had risen to 211, when it should sit around 130-ish, so it was almost double what it should be.

As I said, thank God for modern medicine (and Medicaid)! In another country, my son might have died from this. I was still really worried about him because they said his little heart was working so hard, but there was no pneumonia on the X-ray, so we took our little guy home. Later we found out there is a virus going around that presents with high fever and no other symptoms, so look out for that if you have kids!

Our little Max is back to being an angel now, maybe even more than before... and finally healthy again (knock on wood)!


  1. The IV fluids rehydrated him and that was an important reason you needed to go to the hospital. I too am grateful you have Medicaid. It's terrible to have to question getting the care your baby needs due to financial concerns.

  2. How scary! (the ER visit, not your hair!)
    I get even more neurotic than usual when my kids get sick. Right now I have one with a low fever, sore throat and a rash. I just had her at the Dr's yesterday for the rash...and of course she was showing NO signs of any other sickness symptoms. UGH. Back again tomorrow!
    I'm so glad your little one is better. How cute is he!!?!

  3. Oh my gosh, I'm so glad your baby is ok! (Um, that last picture is stinckin' adorable, by the way) We really are lucky to live in a place where the health care that is needed is available. What a blessing!

    Your hair looks great, darling! xoxo

  4. HUGS! I remember the dayz!!!

    I know I've probably told you this before, but I love love love your name. I was going to name my next girl Aubrey Anne, but then I never had one.

  5. Wow aubrey! im sooo sorry! Im glad he's better! How scary! Oh and for some reason your not showing up on my updates list....sorry im so behind! Give max huggies from me!


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