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The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Comes crashing down

I'm just going to come right out and say it. The world is suffocating me lately. I feel like there's just enough air to breathe, but no room to take a deep breath.

Tornadoes, war, tsunamis, flooding, revolts, terrorists, murder in the name of justice, economic crisis across the entire planet... the parade of tragic circumstances is kind of getting to me.

Then there's personal life... job search, marriage, money, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, children, mess, laundry that never, ever ends... Honestly, I am not being nearly as appreciative of my life as I probably should be. To be perfectly honest, I am not even anxious to become appreciative of my life right now. I think I'll just sit back and whine for a while. Nothing is ever quite what I expect, and surprises have never been my strong suit.

Check this out... Oprah is no longer the "most influential woman". Apparently it's GaGa.
I simply can't think of anything that states more clearly the societal decline of our country (world?) and I am tired of worrying about the world my children are growing up in. (I know, I know, "Get used to it; That's what being a parent is."  But seriously... this chick?

I'm tired of thinking about my twenties slipping away from me into the abyss we call "the past" - you know, that thing we are supposed to learn to forget about because it "doesn't matter" anymore? (I disagree, btw.) What on earth have I done with my life? My high school friends are getting master's degrees... I am still a year away from not having to buy diapers anymore, and there's not a single thing to put on my resume that's worth bragging about. (It turns out "I can change a diaper in 2.3 seconds" isn't brag-worthy in the professional world. Weird, huh?)

I'm tired of realizing that our country has done (and is still doing) despicable things in the name of "information" and "protection". I don't feel any safer because they are doing it, and how many people (yes, people, even the ones who are not American) live in fear because of us? Why is our safety any more legitimate than theirs? And no, I'm not losing my sight of what the troops are doing for us... so please don't think this is me stomping on the flag or anything. I just learn more and more about the inner workings of our "leaders," and I don't think they deserve the title.

I'm tired of scrubbing the same damn floor every single day, sometimes twice a day, just to find a puddle of orange juice there the next morning at breakfast. I will never stop being tired of this... and it will never relent. The sticky floor battle is almost as troubling to me as the never-ending dirty clothes basket.

I'm tired of just about everything lately. Thank goodness summer is coming... Although the weather doesn't seem to know it, Asher's last day of preschool is tomorrow, and you have no idea how much I am looking forward to having a purpose in life other than to take Asher to and pick him up from school every day. :)

Here's to the much-too-short summer months that are finally here... and lots of walks to the park with kids who have no homework!

2 comments:

  1. same page! i can't stand gaga let alone look up to her... she influences me only in my gag reflex. we just need to face that the world really is turning to crap! just embrace it aubs! :)

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  2. Haha, re-reading all your comments is really entertaining me. I'm so glad you always stop to say something before you leave my blog!

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