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What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Monday, February 28, 2011

My two halves


There's this part of me who is a Mommy.

But there's this other part of me who is a Person

(For some reason being a Wife falls under the Person category, not the Mommy category, which surprises me a little.)

In Mommy land, I'm the most important thing on earth. 

...except grandmas. No one can compete with grandmas.

In Mommy land, someone tells me a minimum of three times a day that I'm great.

Example:
Me, Asher - 5
Yesterday Asher (my wild 5-year-old) came up to me and said, "Mommy, I love you so much, I just want to go everywhere you go. So... I'm just man-gatized to you."  
Then he stuck his head to my leg like a magnet. 
I'm pretty sure I died for a minute.

Example: 
Joshy - 8, me
Tonight when I tucked Joshua (my sweet 8-year-old) in to bed, he whispered in my ear, "I love you more than any little boy loves any mama."
He wouldn't let go of my hug until I (reluctantly) had to make him let go and get some sleep.

In Person land, I am a completely different being. 
In Person land, I feel inadequate and insecure.
In Person land, I am paranoid and jealous.
In Person land, I know certain rules about The Way Things Work...
but I ignore them all and can't manage to follow them.

Example: 
I know it's entirely normal for men to be attracted to women. 
(In fact, if they weren't, I wouldn't have a husband at all.)
In spite of this knowledge, I turn into a completely psycho crazy jealous monsterfreak if Husband even LOOKS like he might be looking at another woman. 

Example: 
I can spend an hour getting ready (very, very rare, as I am also living in Mommy land), perfect every last little detail of my makeup (which I take very seriously), straighten every strand of my hair and try on 8 different outfits...
and I still look in the mirror and wonder why Husband would even be with me. 

Some day I'll figure out how to put Mommy & Person together into one cool semi-normal person.

Until then, Mommy land treats me well. 

Me, Max - 16 months

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