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The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Just a dream

I've always hated those movies or TV shows that start out with something shocking happening, and you're freaking out because - how dare they do that to your favorite character?

...until someone sits up in bed, sweating and shaken. Whew! It was just a dream.

That's me, at least once a week.

I have had nightmares my entire life. As an adult they have a different theme, but they are essentially the same: My safety is threatened, my stability is shaken, my worst fears are confirmed. Life, as I know it, will never be the same.

Then I wake up. But you know what? When I wake up, it doesn't get better. I see that I'm safe, I see that Husband is sleeping peacefully beside me, but I am shaken too thoroughly. The dreams were too real. I spend the rest of the day wondering what was reality and what was fiction... did he really do that to me? Did she really say that? And I end up blaming whoever wronged me in my dream for something that never really happened.

(Yes, just like Phoebe.)

Ross: What do you like better flora or fauna?
Phoebe: Fauna.
Ross: Who would you rather be Simon or Garfunkle?
Phoebe: Garfunkle.
Ross: Why are you mad at me?
Phoebe: You said I was boring. Oh!
Ross: When did I say you were boring?
Phoebe: Oh my God, I remember now! We were playing chess!
Ross: Phoebe! You and I have never played chess!
Phoebe: Oh, come on! Yes... remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing chess, you said I was boring, and then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz! Okay, there's a chance this may have been a dream.

If I see you today, don't worry. You didn't really do anything. I'm just not sure if I'm awake or asleep, and you were a real jerk last night.

1 comment:

  1. Aubrey,

    I used to have nightmares all of my life too, until about my mid-thirties. I seldom have nightmares anymore. (Either that or life has become so much like the nightmares that they seem normal to me now.) :)

    There is hope that they'll stop some day! . . . or at least stop bothering you.



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