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The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Monday, October 4, 2010

How does your garden grow?


At least once a week, someone in a grocery store or at the pharmacy (age 40+) approaches us, gets awkwardly friendly with our baby, and remarks, "They grow too fast!"

I am so grateful for those reminders.

My oldest son is going to turn eight in January. Every year I say, "Isn't that old?? He's six! Six is so much older than five!" and I've been saying that ever since. But honestly... eight really is so much older than seven. Eight is free-thinking. Eight is independent. Eight is like... legitimate.

My second son just turned five a week ago today. Five years old is SO much older than four.

And now... my sweet baby, my last little boy... is turning one. The last year has been the longest, yet shortest, of my entire life.

It seems like ages ago that Husband left me and I had to move back into my mom's house. It seems like yesterday that I delivered my little Max, and watched him struggle for life in the Newborn IC Unit. It seems like ages ago I finally gave up hope that Husband might come back to me and filed for divorce.

It seems like ages ago that he changed his mind, and we started re-paving this road together. It feels like an eternity since we let all the truth spill out onto the floor and started picking up the pieces. I can't believe it's only been a few months since I started to feel the pain slipping away.

If everything that happened in the last year seems so long ago now, how does the time I get with my little ones seem so short?

Our little son - who the checker at Rite Aid called "Fat Baby" because he isn't so little anymore - is a year old next month. My children are slipping right through my fingers, and no amount of holding on tight can stop them. How does one sufficiently soak in all the little moments while they're within reach?

For now I guess I'll just squeeze and kiss those fat baby cheeks.

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