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Sunday, August 15, 2010

Fuming

I'm fuming. Some interactions leave me reeling, and it takes me hours - if not days - to come back down from the places my frustrations take me. There are times when I never recover; I just bury it under a pile of excuses and never work through it at all. Inevitably, though, over time my pile gets scattered, and my anger is again exposed, catching me off-guard when it comes flaring up again over a seemingly dead issue.

Where does someone like me find relief from this kind of heat? My father says it lies in kindness. He says if you fight meanness with kindness, you will heal, and you will be addressing the true pain that caused that person to be mean in the first place. This concept I believe is true. However... I'm rotten at actually carrying it out. I've always been the one who fights fire with fire, the type to slap back... "turn the other cheek" isn't a concept that makes sense to me... at least not in an actual, achievable way. Conceptually, it's entirely logical, and I still strive to one day learn to apply it. 

For now, though... I sit silently... and rage.

3 comments:

  1. Im doing that very thing right now Aubrey. Turn the other cheek has never appealed to me either. No wonder we got along so well in Kansas. I MISS YOU!

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  2. Take it from one who knows by personal experience . . . rage is only the beginning of the price you pay when you choose not to respond with kindness.

    I always had trouble with the concept of "turning the other cheek" too. The mistake I was making was believing that turning my other cheek was the solution to my rage . . . that's not the solution, that alone just makes things worse.

    Actively responding with kindness is the only real and lasting way to dissolve rage . . . and the only way to find out if it works is to actually DO IT. Just thinking about it doesn't work. Just talking about it doesn't work. You have to actually DO IT to get the result that relieves your pain.

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  3. i totally agree with your dad. i've always believed that if you are angry at someone or you just plain don't like someone, you serve them. serve others in general. you will get more out of it than they will.

    also... when i am mad as a hornet or sad, i like to watch a funny show or movie. one movie that always gets me laughing and in a good mood is "school of rock" i don't know why... i just love it. good. clean. funny. jack black. find something like that maybe a song, or a movie that will get you back into the type of mood you want to be in.

    i am not saying to sweep things that you really care about under the rug, address your feelings once you've had time to cool down and get in a better mood. :)

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