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The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
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I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Saturday, August 14, 2010

August 4, 2010 - Progress

The following text is a journal entry I made August 4, 2010.

I just had a therapy session with Christina*. I am amazed at her insight after only an hour. She pinpointed things I hadn't thought about and lots of things I already sort of knew. She says my anger and depression stems mainly from the denial of my self. I have been (attempting to) please everyone but me, especially Steve, for fear of being left alone or not accepted, which goes against my nature to the point of sending me into a complete and total breakdown.Oh - gotta go, they're coming to get me.

Dr. Shrink* just saw me. She ordered my Prozac, Concerta, and a sleeping med. :) That makes this ALL worth it! :) I get exactly what  I needed, and in time for school to start! I'm so excited about it. She was extremely smart and perceptive, and she understood what I was saying when I told her I didn't want to be put on another mood stabilizer. If you ask me, mood stabilizers are actually mood un-stabilizers.

Ashley has literally slept the entire day. She hasn't said one word to me. I told Dr. Shrink that I had to get out of here and she asked if I'd packed up my stuff already. I said I never unpacked and she laughed and said, "You got here yesterday and already got scared? Yeah, it's hard when you're... clear-headed... to be around... those who aren't." Huge grin.  She was choosing those words very carefully.

I couldn't be happier to walk out of here. New medicine plus taking back some of my control (self) in my life should set me back on track... Plus, I'll always have Claire to remind me how bad it could be, and Ashley to remind me not to sink into my own thought patterns and get lost.





(This is the point where they told me my husband had come to get me and I could go home. When I get a minute, I'll add my thoughts post-crazyhouse.)


*Name changed for privacy purposes

3 comments:

  1. Hi friend, greeting peace...
    How are you?
    I hope you will be happy.
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    And... if you love books, don’t forget to read The Holy Qur'an please...
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    ReplyDelete
  2. wow. I don't even know what to say. You are amazing and I'm sorry you had to go through this, but so glad things worked out in the end. I got so sucked into all of your journal entries, thinking this was your book that you were writing. I was like, "wow, Aubrey is an AMAZING writer!" and then I realized this was really happening. You have been on my mind constantly and I'm praying for you and your family. Thanks for sharing this.

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  3. aubrey, i'm glad you found help when you needed it. someone i know checked into a place like this and it's just very eye-opening being there. don't ever give up. there is always help if and when you need it. :)

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