What you can expect:
The brutal truth of me, without all the sugary coating.
Here I am just me, UNCUT and UNEDITED.
I talk about my family, my divorce, and a lot about MAKEUP.
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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Our Greatest Efforts

Lately I am consumed with the feeling that even our greatest efforts will never measure up to the most average expectations of our loved ones.

We spend our lifetimes working up to joining with another human in some form of partnership, only to find out when we get there: it isn't enough. We still need other things. Once we realize we are still incomplete, we start to blame. That other person must not be doing enough for us, they must not be fulfilling their "half" of the partnership.

What moves us into the awareness of others' inability to fulfill us? The acceptance that it's up to us to be complete, and to walk alongside our partner as a whole and healthy person ourselves? What teaches us that our other half is simply a human themselves, a person who needs his or her own fulfillment, and cannot possibly give us happiness? Must it be pain that brings us to this new insight?

I move that it must. I have never seen it happen any other way.

While we are independently seeking our happiness and fulfillment, how do we keep our attachment strong? How do we keep from making the other feel inadequate if we are unable to fulfill ourselves?
How does one cope when, despite our best efforts, we are unable to make our partner happy?

This new understanding leaves me lost as to my role in this life, with the people around me and their needs, their search for meaning and direction.

I have always understood my role to be his source of happiness... Now that I know I can never be that - only he can be that - what do I do with myself?

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